Ladies, Eat Those Fried Twinkies! GET FAT!
Why? Simple. My favorite Levi's are no longer sold. I mean my all time favorite fit me like a glove oh my God these were made with my ass in mind Levi's. Now, I love me a good pair of $185 Seven for All Mankind or Joe's Jeans, don't get me wrong. But the all American Levi's dungaree is my all purpose go to item in my closet.
So why am I encouraging you to eat fried Twinkies and get fat? Because when you get on that scale and see the pounds creep up you'll run to your closet and try on your all time favorite fit you like a glove oh my God these were made with your ass in mind Levi's. And you will not be able to zip them. You might not even be able to get your entire leg into them. And once they become your Holy shit these god damned jeans are so freaking tight I look like I'm wrapped in sausage casing and I can't breathe Levi's you will put them onto ebay. And I will buy them. And wash them with hot water and bleach when they arrive in case you have a case of the ickies. Just to be safe.
So eat up ladies. Mangia. And look for STAGMOM on ebay. I'll be bidding.