Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Mailing List Troubles

It seems that my oldest daughter is on a list of high academic acheivers in the county in which we lived in Massachusetts last year. Flattering, yes?

As such, she has been invited to travel to Australia with "other outstanding 5th and 6th graders" with People to People, an international exchange program. Hmmmm. What exactly constitutes an outstanding 5th grader? Dodge ball champ? Got her sewing badge at girl scouts without pricking her fingers on the needle?

Let me get this straight. Based on this thick, resume quality paper, I am to attend a meeting to learn how my child can "see koalas and kangaroos" (got those at our local zoo) and "bond with other delegates while cruising spectacular Sydney Harbor." The word cruising, in a sentence that involves children is, ah, troublesome. Oh, she can "interact with Australia's Aboriginal Peoples" too. Or, she can visit with my great-auntie Mary and interact with Southern Italy's Alcohol imbibing peoples.

Do people really fall for this shit? "MY Johnny was selected? Oh he really is so very, very special."

We received a similar letter last year inviting her to Hawaii based on scoring in the top percentile of students in Ohio on her 5th grade testing. The letter did not tell us whether the children would get lei'd upon arrival, their parents having sent them thousands of miles from home with strangers.

I called and politely asked them remove her from this list. All they needed was our "pin" number from the letter. Yes, she already had her own pin number, proving to me that she would be treated like the precious young woman we know and love.

Did I mention that my child has fairly profound autism? Uh huh. Like I said, sometimes those direct mail lists just aren't up to snuff. Like that catalog with the vibrators that I got a couple of weeks ago (see "OKU" post). Well, maybe they DO get the list right sometimes.



Matt-Man said...

Funny...I was going to post on this as well. My 11 year old son received a letter from them last month. I did some research on P2P.....What a bunch of shysters.

I was proud of my son. He was pissed when he found out he wasnt going, but not at his mom or me. He was pissed because P2P wasnt being honest!!

Harvey Moskowitz said...

This morning at the gym, I saw a man, portly and naked, use the chained-to-the-wall hair dryer to dry off his privates.

Isn't nature wonderful?

Kim Stagliano said...

Harvey, is that as close as you've come to a blow job as I think?

Trish Ryan said...

I thought P2P was an online dating service??? Scary. Very scary.

Show your kids a DVD of The Wiggles and tell them that's all they're missing.

Kim Stagliano said...

Or finding Nemo, for that cruise around Sydney Harbor! People to People Celebrating Five decades of International Exchange. EVERY president since Eisenhower is on the letterhead as an honorary chairman. Weird.

We don't like the Wiggles. No fur, no Grover, too happy. We're Oscar the Grouch people, can't you tell? :)

Harvey Moskowitz said...

Don't act like you don't know the answer to that question, Kim.

Kim Stagliano said...
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