All I want for Christmas is a kick ass agent who will sell my MS. Really.
I've been reading several agents blogs recently. Kind of my attempt at FBI style profiling. If I know how agents think, maybe I can craft my query in such a way as to make several of them, OK a handful, maybe just one good one, say "I need to represent this book from Kim Stagliano."
The thing of it is, I already know how agents think, having been in sales and promotions for many years, prior to becoming an autism Mom and having to trade my day job for a day and night job.
Agents want a query that says "I and my client can sell many, many copies of this book." Fairly simple. Agents, like writers, want to sell books. I've got to believe that every agent hopes the next JK Rowling's query is in that stack of envelopes piling up on his/her desk. And perhaps they are as disappointed/frustrated by crappy queries as we writers are by the sight of our own SASE's back in the mailbox? Can you see them plodding down Fifth Avenue, eyes down, hardly daring to look in the windows at Saks, knowing that big payday just passed them by as yet another boatload of fokakta queries just hit the in-box?
I'm struggling with my query -- which I thought was quite strong, to the point and frill-free. Just the facts, ma'am. Here's the book, here's the plot, here's the conflict, here's why I'm qualified to write it and here's how I plan to market it and why it will sell. I don't go out of my way to be witty I just wrote it following the guidelines of the industry. Is it the the "A" word; autism that is a turn off? Is it the title? How do you SHOW an agent that your book is funny and sharp and fresh in one paragraph without committing the cardinal sin of TELLING them "trust me, my book is sharp and funny and fresh and saleable." You might as well say "But my mother reeeally likes this book and my writing teacher at Tick Tock Tech online authors school promises me it will be a best seller."
Maybe I'll just go watch Finding Nemo today. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.