Wednesday, June 06, 2007


In Case Your Son Isn't Being Beaten Up Often Enough in School.....


I love catalog shopping. As the mother of three girls with autism, I prefer catalog shopping. No. I need catalog shopping. The Mall is not my friend. You understand?
There are some very strange and dreadful items in catalogs. I should know. But this item just made me sad: The Yoda back pack. All I can say is that little Billy had better pack his light saber on the days he wears this elderly scholar (as Yoda is called in the catalog) on his back.
Nanoo. Nanoo.
Oops, wrong alien.....


17 comments:

Stephen Parrish said...

My mother bought me a Beatles lunch box. She may as well have given me a t-shirt that said, "I want to be sodomized by teenage vigilante torture goons."

Kim Stagliano said...

IS that why you moved abroad? I feel similarly about the Danskin outfits I wore for years. Can you say flammable???

Stephen Parrish said...

I moved abroad when my mother gave me an ABBA lunchbox to replace the Beatles lunchbox. To this day I still have trouble sitting down.

Kim Stagliano said...

Mama Mia!

Stephen Parrish said...

I don't have a come-back to that one. You win.

Laura said...

Mama Mia - LOL! The Yoda backpack makes it look like the poor child is being attacked by Yoda, actually! He's on your back! Get him!

The Beatles lunch box - if you still had it, you could make a fortune on ebay! I somehow ended up with a !NERD ALERT! Star Trek lunchbox from the 60s (I think it was my mom's cousin's), and I sold it on ebay for over $500!

KingM said...

Depends on the age, I guess. My first graders would be heroes in their class if they had Yoda backpacks. My fifth grader would throw himself under the wheels of the schoolbus.

Trish Ryan said...

Wow - that is a recipe for disaster. Your girls are lucky to have a Mom who recognizes this!

John Elder Robison said...

When I was in school, I did not have a lunchbox.

Nor did I have a Yoda backpack.

But I did have a Pet Trash, a friendly paperball who lived at the end of a six-foot leash.

And other kids soon learned not to trifle with my trash. Unlike Spephen, I did not have trouble sitting down after school.

There is no doubt that my sized helped, as did my teen age pugnacity.

Holly Kennedy said...

What is it with parents and lunch kits, huh? I had a tin lunch box with the Patridge Family on it -- a hand-me-down from my sister.

I opted not to take lunch many days, which was really stupid, but with 5 kids to keep track of who was gonna notice one sneaking out the back door without her lunch?!

Stephen Parrish said...

And other kids soon learned not to trifle with my trash.

Every once in a while you read a sentence that demands you rise out of your chair and bow in respect. This is one such sentence.

But consider: if you were a bully, wouldn't you think twice before targeting a boy hauling "a friendly paperball who lived at the end of a six-foot leash?"

Kim Stagliano said...

Jesus, that's funny John. Please get started on your next book. The repugnatron and the trash on a leash. Fabulous!

irene said...

I was thinking along the lines of KingM. My 8 year old would LOVE the yoda pack and would definitely be the envy of the class. BUT it looks like the kid in that picture is a teenager! I had a strawberry shortcake lunch box but we usually ate the icky school lunches. my 7 yo, ASD son takes a sesame street box and my 8 yo takes his lunch in a plastic grocery sack er...i mean bag. ;D

Kim (in NYC) said...

I remember my bright yellow Josie and the Pussycats lunchbox! I also remember knee socks that would not stay up and liverwurst sandwiches (with mayo and iceberg lettuce on wonder bread no less). How did I survive???

Stephen -- I would carry the ABBA lunchbox today (I am sure everyone in my office would laugh at me, but hey, I'm tough (or at least I could close my door and cry))-- much to my DH's chagrin I love them. He makes me keep my abba on my ipod never to be played aloud!

I have to say, the Yoda pack creeps me out a little -- it is like a strange alien life form attached itself to some poor child and will suck the kid's soul out before moving on to the next one (I guess along with watching Josie and the Pussycates, I saw too many bad horror flicks). Hmmm maybe I should pen the screenplay for "Yoda the Life Sucking Backpack" -- I could give a whole generation of little kids horrible nightmares and morbid fears of backpacks. Heehee. (OK, just kidding)

I think I am going to be able to make it tonight Kim -- Looking forward to it!!!

Kim Stagliano said...

KMR I assume - look forward to meeting you! I was in an antique store and I spied my OLD SNOOPY LUNCH BOX! YEllow, sort of dog house shaped. $125..... Running to Mom's basement "Where is that darn thing!" I think of lunch at Dominican Academy every time I smell vinyl - that old vinyl lunchbox smell drops me back....

Kim (in NYC) said...

Yup, it is indeed KMR...

I think I had that snoopy box too at some point (and Millbrook bread -- just like wonder but with snoopy on the label) and many years of catholic school (St. Mary Magdalene for me!).

See you tonight!

writtenwyrdd said...

I saw that Yoda pack in a catalog last night and thought, Nooooo! It cannot beeeee! Because, ya know, it's just so wrong to have a teenager in that get up.