Me and Carrie Bradshaw (Yes, I am aware of the grammatical error. I'm channeling Janis Joplin, OK?)
If you were ever a fan of Sex and the City - as it aired on HBO, not the ridiculous edited version on TBS - you've probably compared yourself to the four women on the show. Are you a Carrie? A Miranda? A Samantha? Or are you a Charlotte?
I'm a cross between Carrie and Charlotte with a soupcon of Miranda. But that leaves Samantha. She was the sex-crazed woman who took charge of her own life, made her own fun and was the most independent. Until seasons five and six where she finally met a great guy and settled into a relationship.
These days I have a lot more Samantha in me than I used to. HUH? Married 15+ years, three kids and acting like Samantha Jones? Impossible. Not really. I am a lot more in your face, vocal and willing to forego the approval of others to meet my own goals than I was as a younger woman. I credit my girls for that. Ain't no one going to fight for them like I am. And if I can fight for them, I can fight for myself.
Plus, Mark and I have survived some major league upheaval. Try two years of unemployment on top of three autistic children combined with selling your house, moving in with your folks (his in laws) before finally settling into a normal routine again. Then I again, DON'T try it. It's not all that fun. But since this bumpy ride hasn't made us want to stab each other with the steak knives (not getting a lot of use, we eat more hamburger than steak these days) I can say without a doubt it has made us stronger.
Publishing is a tough business. Agents get 20,000 - 30,000 queries a year from people like me, who've written a novel and dream of walking into Border's and seeing our book on the shelf. The front shelf. My kids and our family journey have given me a healthy dose of Samantha - I am not a quitter. I am a fighter. Unlike, Samantha, I've never had sex on a swing though. Does a slide in a park count? ;) I'm not quite as sweet as Charlotte after all.
Season four, second episode. Carrie falls on the runway during Fashion Week, picks herself up and struts back down the runway. Heidi Klum gives her a high five. Rejection and failure turn to triumph and pride.
Final season, second to last episode. Samantha is speaking at a cancer fundraiser and is nervous, staid and boring. Then she puts her heart into the speech, whips off her wig and says "Who are we kidding? Cancer is hard." The rest of her speech is inspiring as other women pull off their wigs, revealing their bald heads.
And of course, Season Six final episode and Big flies to Paris and tells Carrie "She's the ONE!"