Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Summertime and the Living is Queasy.

Miss G strikes again. Or, "Mom, this smoothie tastes funny." This is what happens when I take a shower. I come downstairs all fresh and clean and smooth and shiny and have a near heart attack as Bella admires the slimy, dirty, sharp and shiny mess Gianna has prepared. Allow me to explain.
Mark has started making fruit smoothies for his breakfast. He made one today at 6:15am before he skedaddled to LaGuardia for a flight. Sometimes I hate the guy. "Bye honey! See you in three days!" and off he goes. Meanwhile, I have to turn water into wine to get a sitter and plan one lunch in NYC. But I digress.
Miss G decided to make herself a smoothie. A tomato and half and half and orange juice smoothie. Mind you, Gianna is on a milk free diet. But Miss G. knows that. Miss G also knows that sometimes life takes over and she gets a taste of ice cream. As long she gets her digestive enzymes. So you see the bottle of enzymes? She took that out of the cabinet herself. She knew she was using milk and needed her enzymes. The knife? That freaked me out. Bella could have easily grabbed it. I love my sweet Bella. I would not want to find Bella looking like Carrie. Nope.
I explained to Gianna (while trying to push my stomach back down my throat to my belly) that she couldn't make herself a smoothie. No knife. No milk. No getting enzymes from the cabinet. Then we cleaned up the mess. It was 7:45am.
How's your day?

13 comments:

Kathryn Johansen said...

My day usually starts with something or someone to be cleaned up, although (shh dare I say it), all was quiet on the Gulf Coast front this morning. No naked child sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, clothes in a heap on the floor. No, not today. He's (squeal)...at school! I loved the line about turning water into wine to get a babysitter! I can SO relate to that.

amanda said...

Please explain concept of baby sitter....is that when you get to go out kid free with husband? I think I remember doing something like that some time...

We now avoid some of the more elaborate self help disasters by having maglocks on the cupboards and keypad locks on the doors. Youngest has now figured maglocks so we're looking at finger print locks for the critical things - like the meds cupboard - only £200 a shot! but better than a distaster

Mom26children said...

Hi Kim,
School started yesterday...everyone out of the house by 7:30...I had a meeting at 9 am and 11 am..then a very small margarita at lunch ( I deserved it )...
Jeanette

Kim Stagliano said...

Kathryn, oh yes. Then I drink the wine. Amanda, you just had two days and nights to yourself, no complaining. Mom26, you deserve a BUCKET sized Margarita. But it IS awkward swaying in a drunken stupor at the bus stop while shouting "VIVA!"

mcewen said...

Yikes! That's why so often I have to skip the shower if I can't get it done before he leaves for work!

Found the croissant!

Lisa said...

I am not sure how I stumbled across your blog but I have been reading for a few weeks now. I couldn't help respond to todays post and comments. I have a 3 year old autistic son. I can relate to your morning! Nothing makes the hair on the back of neck stand up more or faster than when showering upstairs and I hear the sound of one of the kitchen chairs being dragged across the floor. It is a pretty good indication that a) he is getting into something that he shouldn't be and b) if I don't immediately jump out of the shower and run downstairs soaking wet, I will certainly regret it later!

Another Autism Mom said...

It's just that with autistic kids you have to leave your house child-proofed a little longer, and hide dangerous stuff even higher. Miss G was trying to be independent and creative, and did something that many other typical kids would. However you can't trust her with a knife, and especially having a younger child nearby who could have grabbed it and gotten seriously hurt.

Drama Mama said...

I love Miss Jiggy G. She rocks. I LOVE that she was independent and creative. How's the acting class going?

Babysitters. Ahhhh. Damn. I need more proactive grandparents.

Crap. I hate when I realize how undernourished my life can get.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Oh my.

That smoothie reminds me of the Bass-o-matic on SNL. Yuck.

Glad everyone is okay.

P.S. I left Seth in front of the TV (a cartoon on TLC) to get a shower. I turned off the water, heard screaming, came downstairs quick, just in time for the bloody baby to be pulled out of the mom's nether-regions.It has switched to A Baby Story.

We need to start a showering co-op. It's just too damned dangerous.

Kim Stagliano said...

The bassomatic or the Julia Child spoof Akroyd used to do where she'd cut off a limb while cooking!

I've hidden the knives again - they are always in a holder, set FAR back, away from little hands. But little bodies are getting TALLER. I need a houseful of "YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO MAIM YOURSELF" stickers like a deranged amusement park.

A showering coop! Love it. Yeah, that STUPID baby story show. The only people who should watch it are boys ages 12 - 112......

amanda said...

Kim I know I can't complain, I'm just still giddy from two days without kids for the first time in 3 years!

We're having a similar problem in our house - no.1 daughter could probably do a lot more for herself than she does but we have to keep no.2 daughter safe and stop her trashing the house even more than she does. It's hard to find the right balance.

I still think Good for Gianna for trying!

MarkZ said...

Ah, the old SNL. Those were the good ol' days. A Mr. Bill scene would be perfect for this situation as well ("OH NOOOO").

Laura said...

Showering. Always a mistake! Today my boys decided to take all the picture frames they could find and put them in Harrison's crib/daybed, which they are now pretending is a boat. Hutton was in the process of taking a picture off the wall in the room when I came in after my shower. Cute, right? Except they took all of the frames apart and there were pictures, empty frames, various sized pieces of glass and a bent metal frame in the bed. Fortunately they did not break any of the glass or slice their hands on any of the edges of the glass, which even when not broken can be very sharp, so we didn't need a trip to the ER. Even so, I had a major bad mommy screaming fit about how "picture frames are NOT TOYS!"

When I calmed down and got all the frames back together, I asked the boys if they would play with the frames again or did I need to take all the framed pictures off the tables and bookcases around the house, not to mention taking the pictures off the walls. They seemed to understand that they shouldn't play with them, but we'll see.

Yeah, that smoothie doesn't sound so good.