Kim Rossi

I'm Tired of Autism. Here's a Gluten Filled Post.

Enough with the autism already! (Yes, I can read your mind.)

Last night I decided to whip up a nice dinner for Marky Mark. He asked for a spinach pasta with clam sauce. I, the ever dutiful, Italian wife (and no where near PMS time) agreed with a smile. Plus, it's the easiest meal ever to create, even if your Italian food repertoire consists of opening a can of Chef Boyardee and calling Pizza Hut.


It's Sunday today. LET'S COOK!

You do have Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin playing in the background don't you? No? All right. John Bonjovi will do.

Mark likes clam sauce. So do I. But when I opened the fridge I saw a bit of pizza sauce from the GF pizza I'd made the kids for dinner and a carton of heavy cream from the chocolate ganache I made last Thursday for Mia's teacher appreciation luncheon. Tomato sauce plus cream = heaven. So let's make two sauces so easy you can whip up both on the stove and pretend you're the Olive Garden with "Choose your own sauce night."

Make two sauces for your man and I'm telling you - YOU WILL OWN HIM. See that hunk of cheese? It's REGGIANO PARMAGIANA from Italy. If you're shaking yellow sawdust out of a green can go to jail and do not collect 2 million lira. Spring for the good stuff. See that thingy next to the cheese? It's a microplane. Grates the cheese faster than Britney can run over a papparazi's foot. Get one. Works for chocolate too.

CLAM SAUCE

Cover botom of pan with Olive oil. Not an Exxon Valdez kind of slick, just cover the bottom.

Crush/press two cloves of fresh garlic into the oil. Garlic powder eliminates you from this game. Heat the garlic on medium until you think Sophia Loren has just entered your kitchen.

Open a can of minced clams. We use SNOWS brand. Any brand will do. Put the can of clams into the pan with the juice.

Cut a lemon in half. Squeeze 1/2 a lemon over a strainer into the pan. Taste the lemon to prove you are still 6 years old at heart. Make fuuny scrunchy face at your kids. Promise yourself to make homemade lemonade from other half. Know you are lying.

Get out some salt and pepper. Add a sprinkle of each. Toss some over your shoulder to ward of the devil.

If making sauce for two I just use the can. If making for 4+ I use two cans of clams, and then buy a bottle of clam juice too. Up your lemon and garlic too.

Warm the sauce to a low boil. Lower heat. Add clam juice if you need to stretch out the sauce. Most of us Italians started off really really poor. Thus the cheap pasta and horsemeat of days gone by. Many of us still are. We use pasta and lots of sauce to feed our large families. Taste. Add more lemon juice, salt or pepper as you'd like. That's it. 8 minutes and you're done. Kinda like... Nevermind.

NEXT: Tomato Cream sauce

Pour 3/4 cup cream into pan. Tell yourself you'll diet tomorrow.

Add your favorite tomato sauce until the sauce is as pink as you like. (homemade, jarred, your call. I won't police you on this one.)

Crush in one clove of garlic. You DO own a garlic press, don't you? Ask Santa to put one in your stocking.

Add one tbsp of butter. BUTTER! Not oleo-margarine plastic stuff. Moo cow butter.

Grate in a ton of Reggiano Parmagiana (cuz the only green can in your house now is a can of Heineken, right?)

Add salt to taste.

Do not boil, just heat to under a boil. Musn't scald the cream.

Boil your pasta. Toss with your sauces, grate more cheese on top and enjoy!

Happy Sunday, friends.

Kim