Have fun tonight! Be careful. No drinky and drivey. No nookey with strangers. Don't bump your head on the porcelain god. And may you have a loving partner to hold your ponytail if you do overindulge.

By the way, surefire hangover cure? Activated CHARCOAL it pulls the nasty stuff out of your belly. We use it all the time for food reactions and to counteract yeast die off and other detox ickies in the biomed world. Run out today and grab a bottle at a health food store. For your kids you can open a capsule and mix it into applesauce or chocolate syrup or pudding, however you can hide it. Not that your kids will have a hangover. But maybe too many sweets?

Here's to a healthy, happy, manuscript selling, kids improving, money making 2008 for all!

Yee Haw! Texas Girl Wins Hannah Montana Contest!

(Oops, Mommy lahd and said Daddy dahd in Eye-Rack.)

UNREAL. A North Texas mother is suspected of making up a tragic story in an essay contest to win a Hannah Montana prize package, NBC 5 reported. I'll bet you a ride on a Longhorn that this Mom has a yellow ribbon on the back of her SUV and maybe even Yosemite Sam mudflaps.

"They only said you needed to write an essay. They didn't say it had to be true." Well that loophole is large enough to drive the official car of Texas (Suburban) through. Nice lesson for her child. Lie to win. Guess her former Governor taught her well.

What a slap in the face to our men and women who have died, are dying right now and will die in the years to come to exploit death for free tickets to a tweeny concert. It's easy to pick on Texas, of course. Had this happened in, say, Rhode Island, a state without Texas' huge personality I'd have had less to go on - but I'd still have pointed out the travesty.

PS, if your kid is on this kids' cheerleading team, watch your back.

A love note to Donald Trump about Autism Speaks from moi. On Huffington Post.

http://tinyurl.com/2ozdt7

The Dangers of Holiday Food!

This insane photo is from Dr. Mercola's health site. This is what he thinks David would look like in 2007. Is this what really fat men look like naked???? Sweet Jesus eating a fried Twinkie! Someone get him a leaf. And a BRA! I am a little jealous of his chest. I admit it. Wow. This is like a train wreck. Can't look. Can't turn away. I'm gonna toss out the rest of my birthday cake right now. As soon as I have just one...more...nibble.

I WISH WE COULD DO WHAT THEY DO IN KATROO! (My birthday is the 28th - but I wrote the post last night and blogger just is NOT that advanced. So I'm really one day younger than you thought. I changed the post date to today.)



Recognize that line? From my favorite Dr. Suess book, "Happy Birthday to You!" Today am pretty much dead-on middle aged. Half my life behind, half ahead. Feel free to taunt and/or congratulate me.

In autism years I'm about 432, just older than the Vampire Lestat, if anyone even remembers Anne Rice's magnificent vampire series of many years ago. Ruined by a blond Tom Cruise (Ugh! My eyes!) Now paranormal is normal and I've read over at Nathan Bransford's agent blog that Vampires are (un)dead. But I'm not worried because I don't write in the paranormal genre. I dipped my toe into PN with my book - and then pulled it out of the blood. Not my thing right now. In fact, I suck at it. (Get it? Bad vampire joke?) Ask my agent. (See his head nodding?)




Have you heard Anne Rice is now a Super Catholic? Check out her site HERE but get ready to be bombarded by Ave Maria and to feel utterly lost if you're looking for the amazing author of many years ago. Oh I'm sure she's still an amazing writer. But you'll feel like you have to whisper and badomble into her site on your knees. (You do know how to badomble, don't you? It's a Catholic thing. See this photo with the cross? That's from the LaSalette Shrine in Attleboro, MA. You have to go up those stairs on your knees. It's a penance; "If it hurts it must be good for my soul and since Jesus suffered for my sins I can suffer a little too." I call it badombling up the steps. My folks try to go there every year. I grew up going there. I don't know why Protestants don't kneel in Church the way we Catholics do. Feel free to explain.) Dang, am I off track again? Sorry.




I don't think Anne Rice writes about vampires any longer. Ah the irony, from the undead to the born again! I'm onto Charlaine Harris, whose Sookie Stackhouse series is a pip.




Back t0 my birthday. How old you ask? Well, if I had a theme song it would be, "Oh what a night! Late December back in......" Got it? Old. In autism, vampire and human years alike. But happy. Content. Blessed. No complaints from me.

Hope Santa is good to you!

Love, Kim

Merry Christmas, friends. Happy Holidays to all. See you around the 27th.

Posted later: Are you horribly grumpy? I am. Oh yes. My Christmas spirit is currently in the form of Hellraiser. Maybe Chucky. Question. Are you the kind of person who decorates your car? I just saw a VW Beetle with antlers sticking out of the back windows. WTF? Do you, lady (I assume it's a lady, few self respecting men drive Beetles, let's face it.) have SO much time on your hands that you can decorate your CAR??? Instead of eggnog and joy I'm full of piss and vinegar today. Kids came home. We had to run out to pick up my car - got the tires checked. Do you want to know how long it took Mark and me to get the three kids into shoes and socks and then into his car? They're used to getting in my my minivan. The Altima blew them away. Which door? How does it open? Who gets in first? Second? Third? Which door again? You mean we have to get into this car? Where's "our" car? Who gets in first? I finally collapsed laughing, "Mark would anyone believe us if they saw this? 20 minutes to drive 2 minutes up the road to pick up our car?" We shared a good chuckle. OK, maybe my mood isn't so bad. And the antlers were kind of cute. For a Beetle. But don't touch my black minivan with decorations come holiday time. I'm just not that kind of girl.

Merry Holidays. I think it's Eid, yes? Happy Eid too.

Poster Later Later: Mood worsening. Hey, school Mom who sends home holiday goodie bags full of cheap painted Chinese toys. Turn off All My Children and turn on CNN. Lead much?

K

CONTEST WINNERS

Please email me at kim stagliano at g mail dot com with your home address. I'll try to get the goodies out tomorrow. More likely after Christmas though.

PIPER REED BOOK: Naomi

TREBELLINA: Judy

LITTLE PILGRIMS: Heather: Daily companion, BlessedMomof4: Home, Carrie Elsass: Restaurant, Stephanie: Colors

(Contest is open through Wed.)

Welcome, National Book Award Winner

Kimberly Willis Holt!

Win a copy today! Just leave a comment to enter!

Please join me in welcoming Kimberly Willis Holt, author of Piper Reed Navy Brat. "It's not easy being the middle child, especially when your dad is a Navy Chief. Meet Piper Reed, a spunky nine-year old who has moved more times than she can count on one hand." You can learn more about Kimberly at her website. You can purchase a copy here.

I read Piper Reed last week. It brought me right back to my childhood, snuggled into bed, soft pillow behind my head, eager to jump into another kids' world. When I was nine, I'd have identified with Piper. At 9 times almost 5, I can still identify with her, which I think is the mark of a terrific and timeless children's book. And I adore Christine Davenier's illustrations. I asked Kimberly a few questions that are relevant to the world of special needs, because Piper has dyslexia.

One lucky commenter will win a copy of the book!

Why did you give Piper Reed dyslexia?

I didn't plan to create a character with a reading disability. It just happened. Many times when I write I discover things I didn't know about the character. Sometimes that happens during rewrites. But in this situation I realized she was dyslexic on the first draft. I think it had something to do with her sisters' love for reading.

Also my mom was a special ed teacher and had many students with dyslexia. Over the years she told about their challenges. And though I don't have dyslexia(nor do any of my sisters) I am a slow reader. I'm more of an auditory learner. Sounds are important to me. I read at the speed that I speak. When I was in school, I thought I was stupid because I couldn't finish my tests in time. I think that gives me empathy for a dyslexic person.


Does Piper feel jealous toward her younger sister Sam, who is particularly bright and not challenged by dyslexia?

Although, Piper accepts her dyslexia, I believe she is insecure about what she believes to be Sam's supreme intellegence. Sam is smart, but she is not a prodigy. But Piper thinks her sister is and that's what matters.

What is Piper most afraid of when she moves?

Like most military kids, she's going to have to face being the new kid. She's done it before, but always had the advantage of making friends over the summer before the school year started. Now she's moving in October. She not only has to make new friends, but she is anxious about the possibility of the teacher making her read in front of the class.

Would Piper invite a child with a disability to join her Gypsy club?

Absolutely. Piper is a people person. She is a very accepting soul. Great idea!

Piper has a great catch phrase, "Get off the bus!" How does Piper feel about adding, "Get of the Van-bus!"

I love it! If I introduce a child with disability into the story, that might become a possibility. That's what I love about writing a series. Piper can meet more friends and have more storylines, because more books will follow.

Thanks, Kim!


You're welcome, Kimberly. Thank you!

Win a Trebellina Music Teaching DVD and T!

Just leave a comment. Winner drawn Wednesday.

Visit www.trebellina.com to see the full line of fun teaching products for kids of all abilities (these are not autism specific.) The T-shirt is a Youth small.

(Little Pilgrim contest scroll down!)
My revisions are FINALLY done!

Yup. My book is revised. For now. What's next? Clean up. Keen eye. Fine toothed comb. Nit picking (don't you use a fine toothed comb for that?) NONE of which is my strong suit. Go find, "Nilly Willy" in the dictionary and you'll see my photo.

Speaking of photos. My Mia turned 13 yesterday. 13! Hard to believe. Here we are at her party yesterday. Love the homemade GFCF cake, yes? Poor kid never gets a fancy store bought cake as I've yet to find a local bakery that makes a GFCF cake. She doesn't seem to mind though.

Aunt Bea the New Catalog Is Here!

I'm an online/catalog shopper. Toting 3 kids with autism to stores often leads to profound "What the hell was I thinking daring to leave the house?" So it's catalogs to the rescue and I'm on tons of lists. Today's gem? Casual Living.

Casual Living plans to alleviate the burden of holiday shopping by enticing me with products guaranteed to make my family and friends blanche with delight and utter "Oh, Kim. You shouldn't have."

1) Holiday theme, tropical flamingo floor mats for your car - with a Christmas wreath around the bird's neck. Uh, CL? The six ladies who might possibly buy these live in an assisted living home in Miami . And they sold their Buick Park Avenues two years ago (Sadie's was a Lincoln, her Harold always did very well you know.)

2) Chewgars. Cigar shaped dog toys complete with authentic cigar box so your dog can match that cheesey wall print of the dogs playing poker that you have hanging in your "rumpus" room.

3) A t-shirt that reads: "What happens in the garage stays in the garage. Especially when you leave your car running for an hour while you sit in the front seat reorganizing the 8 track tapes you keep in that Hush Puppies shoebox.

4) One piece chopsticks made like clothes pins so that you can wow your friends at the Chinese Buffet on Route 1 in Saugus, MA. "Look Angie! I'm holding a wahn tahn!" (Pass the Mai Tai please.)

5) A pink or turquoise gen-yoo-ine leather Passport holder for when you finally decide to take that trip to New York.

6) A metal purse holder that attaches to a table, holding your handbag just inches from you, since the floor is simply too far away. How about a few sit ups Betty?

7) Scuffy slippers that have mops on the bottom so that you can dust the floor as you shuffle into the kitchen for your Ovaltine at night.

8) A candle set in the shape of a wine bottle, grapes and cheese. So now when you cut the cheese you can also light it on fire. Sublime.

Merry Christmas. Now get shopping.

Kim

LITTLE PILGRIMS CONTEST WINNERS!


First, I'm running two more contests (!) on Tuesday! One is for an amazing music DVD training program for kids! So come back!


Plus, I'm excited to tell you that also on Tuesday, 12/18, you can join me in welcoming a National Book Award winning author on her blog tour! And yes! I have a book to give away! It's a children's book.


To the winners below, please send me an email with your home address. Send to Kim Stagliano at g mail dot com.


Didn't win? Don't worry! Dave of Little Pilgrims has a great offer for you! 15% off! The promotional period will run from today until December 31. When you add an item to your cart, you will be taken to the cart page. Underneath the items in your cart you'll see a field that reads: Enter Promo Code. Enter promo code "KIMSTAG" there. Note that the discount will not be seen until after the checkout screen. (In other words, clicking “update cart” will not apply the discount. They will see it when they go to checkout.) Orders received by Friday, December 21 should arrive in time for Christmas.


WINNERS:

Heather: Daily companion
BlessedMomof4: Home
Carrie Elsass: Restaurant
Stephanie: Colors

CONTEST! CONTEST! CONTEST!

WIN LITTLE PILGRIMS AUTISM DVDs and BOOKS!

PLEASE PASS THIS POST ONTO ALL YOUR AUTISM BLOG FRIENDS! We'll have 4 winners.

Click Little Pilgrims (above) to see their site.

I've just met a wonderful "Autism Dad" who created this line of useful books and DVD's especially for kids on the spectrum. Featuring the "Object Isolation" method of teaching, tips and advice from teachers and therapists and a format that holds the child's attention. You can see there are pockets to add your own photos to personalize the books. And the books come apart to use as flashcards.

How do I win a set, Kim? EASY. Leave a comment. I'll put all the names into a hat and draw the winners on Sunday. I'll announce the winners and ship next week, in time for Christmas!

This book allows you to label your child's day.

Help your child learn items throughout the house. With room to personalize for your own house.

Make dining out easier and more fun with labeling AND modeling books!

Teach colors with preset pages and room to add items that are meaningful for your child.

GOOD LUCK!

THE OPRAH FACTOR. IS IT A FACTOR?

What do you think of Oprah stumping for Obama? Is a meeting of the "O's going to make you run to the pOlls?" What IS it about her ability to morph her accent to the crowd at will that drives me so batty? Oprah interviews Tom Hanks and she's all midwestern, neutral Chicago accent. For Obama she sounds like Reverand Al. I find it disingenuous. But I'm not a big Oprah fan. I don't dislike her. I love that she gave Jenny McCarthy an hour on her show. I appreciate her climb to success. She seems to be a wonderful, philanthropic woman.

If you're an Oprah gal or guy (are there any?) can she sway your vote from N"O" to Yes?

Let's Go Shopping!



I am here to make your life easy. I hate malls. I hate shopping, always have. Ask my Mom about the torment of taking me shopping as a kid, a teenager, for my wedding gown. Ask my husband about our apparent X/Y chromosome swap for the shopping gene. HATE IT!

That said, there are several wonderful online ways to say "goodbye" to your money this holiday season, especially if you know, love, gave birth to, enspermulated, swab, bathe, teach, tutor, therapize or tuck in a child with autism.

So - do me a flavor, won't you? Mosey on over to HERE and take a good look at the ads on the right. Click 'em all! Click 'em twice! Click 'em three times and watch your breasts grow or your penis get longer! OK, maybe not.

Hey! You don't have to a biomed Mom to enjoy these goodies either. There are DVD's to get you looking like an "AMILF", an awesome music teaching program for your little one with or without ASD, books and DVD's and more for kids on the spectrum and even away to DONATE money to a great autism cause (that's spelled S-T-A-G-L-I-A-N-O on the check.)

So go! Click off already! Come back though and tell me what you've ordered!

Goodwill. Bad Toys.

Goodwill is no longer accepting toys. Here's the story. Why? Because so many are tainted with lead. Goodwill is looking out for children. And keeping the lawyers at bay, I assume. Maybe it's time to make our fortune opening a poison toy recycling center? I'm on it, "Welcome to the Island of Mismade Toys." Walmart made a bundle. Mattel? Never happier. Our slightly dim, lead poisoned kids? Not so much.

And Ruprecht the Monkey Boy over yonder (look to the right.) That's Steve Martin from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Ruprecht was supposed to be an adult with an off kilter child's mind, posing as such to bilk wealthy women out of their fortunes. I can't say, "Oklahoma!" without thinking of Ruprecht. And Mark and I often utter the words, "May I take your trident sir?" from that very silly scene. I love Steve Martin. Have you read his new book? It's on my "must buy" list (hint hint, family!)

What makes a 19 year old so angry he goes into a mall and murders 9 people? (Oops, just read that's 8 people plus himself.) I wonder if he was on any of the "miracle" drugs that have a black box warning? (Answer, yes.) Again I ask, what is wrong with American children? Or, "What have we done to our kids?"

John Robison goes into detail in Look Me In The Eye about the elaborate pranks he played as a child, well into his teenage years, as an outlet for his anger and isolation. He recently blogged how it was better than today's kids who take out their rage via a gun. John had access to guns, I believe. So why did he choose his method of letting off steam whereas so young men today choose deadly weapons?

My heart goes out to the families in Omaha who are getting the worst phone call imaginable tonight.

STORY HERE

Added, this young man was troubled and had a long history, including living in a group home. Conclusions? Who knows? Asperger's? Who knows? Would that make matters better or worse? Excuse his behavior? Make life more difficult for Aspergians? God, I have so many questions.

Read about him From KETV Omaha. How lost do you have to feel, or how angry, to go into a mall and shoot people? I fear we'll see more of this, not less in the future.

Lucky moi! I get to have a slightly smaller version of one of these things rammed into my mouth today. It's implant day. Broke a tooth last Spring on an Italian hard candy called, "Va Fungoool!" and so, off I go.

Aaah! It's Monday! We have an ice delay today. Who cares! It's nice not to have to rush about but still know the children will be vacating the house soon. I'm working on the last few pages of my revisions and I'm eager to tackle them today.

Yesterday's event: After I got over my initial shock of having rather misunderstood my role there, I had a wonderful time meeting people at Elms College. I was invited to sit on a panel about autism/Aspergers as a parent at this small, Catholic college called Elms which has a new graduate program in Autism. Lovely. I didn't get any instructions or suggestions on what to prepare or expectations. Kind of like motherhood.

When the presentation began, the moderator told the audience each panelist (who me?) would be getting up and speaking about autism and hope and acceptance. (WHIR!!!!!!! went my brain!) The others shuffled their prepared notes. Me? Does thumb twiddling count as preparation? Yes, if you're at a Tiddlywinks competition. No, if you're about to address 150 fresh faced folks expecting pearls of wisdom.


I composed an opening while Dr. Kathy Dyer was speaking about her 30 years' experience working with kids with autism. "I hate to tell the good doctor that with my Mia, 13, Gianna, 11 and Bella, 7, I have THIRTY ONE years' experience with autism." It got a laugh and that's sort of what I do. Use humor to put people at ease. I continued on fairly well, I think. At least I knew to wrap it up quick.

On another note, congrats to my friend and author Patricia Wood for LOTTERY's great appearance in the Washington Post yesterday!

What is the opposite of the Midas Touch you ask? (Pretend you asked. I'm in a piss poor mood and I'll bite your head off if you don't play along. Ask my headless husband.)

Give up? The opposite of the Midas Touch is the Merdes Touch. That's when everything you touch turns to shit. Clever, aren't I? Not so much.

So tomorrow I'll go to the event where I'm on the panel and be my usual cheery self. The "Oh, how do you do it all?" woman everyone sees. Tonight? I shall grumble and complain.

I did make a great dinner though. I'll blog the recipe later. Yummy GFCF chicken breast cutlets with spinach and mushrooms. And, well, our tree is up and that's always cheery. And the girls are freshly showered and Mark dried their hair. And Bella was very cute today. And Mark looks quite handsome. And my Mom called to say "Hi" which is always nice. Because you always need your Mom. And my bathrooms sparkle because Bella and I have been sitting in them for hours at time waiting for Mr. Tinkle to come on out and play and so I've cleaned every square of tile on the floors and walls and every nook and cranny of the toilet. And I have a kick ass pair of Sevens to wear tomorrow so I don't look so much like a dorky old Mom at the college event. And well, I really do have a lot to be grateful for when I think about it.

Nah, I'd rather piss and moan. Until I jump in bed with THIS as soon as the kids go to bed. Tomorrow I will be my cheery self. Promise.