Light it Up TRUE.
By Kim Stagliano
Today is April 2nd. Some are celebrating Autism Awareness Day. I am not. To me, today is like Good Friday and Yom Kippur - somber days of reflection.
Above is a photo of my daughter's leg. She has autism. A week ago, I put her into the bathtub, and while undressing her - was visually assaulted by these two angry red scratches - parallel, as you can see.
I touched them. She winced. She did not say to me, "Mama, I hurt myself doing such and such." I held back tears and examined her wounds. Did she scrape against something sharp under the kitchen table? I've been feeling under surfaces ever since, trying to find the nails or screws that bit into her tender flesh.
I have no idea how my child was so badly hurt. She was at home all day. She can not speak to tell me. My daughter has autism.
Take a look at her leg. The scratches. The black.
The BLUE.
4 comments:
I feel for you. I get upset when my daughter gets a headache. Scratches like that are scary and disturbing.
Kim, Thank you for sharing this - your stories certainly help to give me greater perspective. Your daughters are lucky to have you.
Kim,
I am the mother of two children with autism. I've just finished reading your memoire, "All I Can Handle."
I have an issue with what appears t me to be your very judgmental attitude towards autism murder/suicides. You said "I am a good mother," as if these mothers did not love or do their best for their children. Not everyone is as lucky as you; to have familial support. financial resources, to have some hope,and to be a generally happy person.
You talk about worrying about finding a house that cost less than $3,000 dollars a month to rent. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. My family is struggling to pay less than one-third of that. We don't worry about the high cost of GF/CF foods because we simply cannot afford them or the biomedical treatments that are helping so many children. Somehow, my husband makes too much money to qualify for any kind of aid or grant, but we live paycheck to paycheck. My daughter has never had ABA because we cannot afford it and neither can our school system. But we do all we can.
Some of the parents who committed murder/suicides are even worse off than we are. They have no hope and nobody cares about them. Some of them were suffering from untreated depression. Many of them are single parents.
It's not about "drudgery." It's about desperation. There is nothing out there for their kids. No hope. A few of the parents did what they did to prevent their child from ending up in an institution; a place where no one at all loves these kids and where so many abuses happened. The parents felt that death was a better option.
We had six of these tragedies in 2011 and one already this year in the US alone. We in the autism world should be the last people to judge and condemn these parents. We should be opening our hearts and offering support and help if we really care about preventing another death of an innocent child.
Gigi Jordan was a millionaire - she stuffed her son with pills until he choked to death on his own vomit. Karen McCarron was a physician. I understand despondent, terrified parents who take their kids with them - in a murder suicide - but I can not condone even as I try to understand their dark place. We don't get to murder our kids. Give them up. Take them to a hospital and leave them. But to pour bleach down their throats or tie a bag around a 3 year old's head? I can't find any sympathy for that. Rich or poor. And yes, in CT where my kids can get schooling without our paying $100K that we don't have in legal fees rent for a house is around $3K - I know -it's nuts! There has to be hope, Victoria, and it's up to other parents, orgs to make sure help is accessible to all, which is what I try to do every day. Thanks for commenting.
Post a Comment